Sustained by the Shepherd

Music has always been my outlet, my escape, and through lyrics, I hear God’s voice whispering to calm my storm. It’s hard to believe that a year ago we were facing our first miscarriage. A year. Some days it feels like I’ve been in this season of waiting for decades, and then I’m reminded that although I have suffered, it has only just been a year. This has been the longest year of my life, filled with so much pain and grief. Though this season has been trying, I believe that my season of harvest will come because I know that the God I love and serve is always good.     “ Like the frost on a rose Winter comes for us all Oh how nature acquaints us With the nature of patience Like a seed in the snow I've been buried to grow For Your promise is loyal From seed to sequoia     I know….   Though the winter is long even richer The harvest it brings Though my waiting prolongs even greater Your promise for me like a seed I believe that my season will come ” ( Season...

When my dear friend, Jackie Smith, and I began brainstorming the bracelet design for our fundraiser, one song came to mind.  Waymaker. Miracle Worker.  Promise Keeper.  Light in the Darkness.  My God, that is who You are.  Immediately, I knew that  I wanted the design to honor our three angel babies as well as celebrate our baby God is preparing for us through adoption. The foundation of the bracelet is composed of a light and dark contrasted bead, representing God who is our "light in the darkness." The three peach beads represent our three biological babies we lost to miscarriage, and the unique grey bead represents the baby that God is currently knitting for us through adoption. We hope this bracelet will serve as a beautiful reminder to all of those who purchase it to pray for us , our baby , and the precious birthmother who will entrust us to love them as our own. Jackie has been so generous, offering us 50% of the sales from the bracelet towards ...

Happy birthday in heaven, my precious boy.  It’s hard to believe that 9 months ago today I looked down at that positive pregnancy test in utter disbelief that I was going to be a mother. My entire life changed the instant the word “pregnant” appeared before my eyes. The most incredible gift was growing inside of me, and in the summer, I’d get to meet you for the first time.  My heart still aches when I think of how long I may have to wait to see your face. I long for Heaven more than I ever dreamt I would, because you and your siblings are waiting for me there. I truly believe that God has given me glimpses of you in my dreams, and the nights I get to spend with you are nights that I could sleep forever. Your hair is jet black and your eyes take my breath away. Piercing blue and twinkly, squinting up in the most adorable way when you smile. You are real. You are right there. I can feel you, and smell you, and kiss you, and hold you. Every single dream you are wearing the blue ...

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12:31 When Ben and I decided to move, back in the fall, we had one specific vision in mind. A house in the country, where we could retreat and get away from it all. We listed our home, and sold it within 12 hours, giving us two weeks’ contingency to find our perfect little spot. We searched every bit of that two weeks, only to be disappointed that our dream of moving outside of the city walls wouldn’t come true. I was pregnant with our first baby, and it was the final week of our desperate house hunting venture. My craving for a change of scenery was stronger than my cravings for bread and butter pickles and avocado; and with every home we considered, we imagined the nursery, the playroom, the whole bit of preparing for parenthood. I longed for a fresh start, a new chapter. On the twelfth day of our fourteen day stretch, our realtor told us to “trust her” and just take a look at thi...

It takes a village , and ours is the sweetest one.   We began our adoption journey exactly one week ago today, and in a single week God has shown up in the mightiest ways! This time last week, Ben and I were staying up all night brainstorming fundraisers, researching grants, and staring wide-eyed at the daunting price tag that accompanies adoption. Each night we have resisted the urges to give into fear and doubt, and each morning God has shown His glory and His faithfulness to us, and provided.   His hand is in this , and I hope as you’re following along, you feel it too.    We began asking for yardsale donations on Monday, and by Thursday, our garage was busting at the seams! We literally had boxes stacked to the ceiling, and didn’t know what to do! The perfectly planned “yardsale” I had orchestrated wasn’t scheduled until the first weekend of SEPTEMBER, buuuuuuut God had other plans (I totally should’ve seen that one coming) . We decided Thursday evening t...